Free dating sites: how to tell if one really is

Signing up to a dating site takes a few minutes. Working out whether it's really free, whether it protects your data and whether it's used by real people takes a few more, but it's time well spent. Especially on an adult site, where your profile and messages reveal very personal aspects of your life.

“Free” doesn't always mean free

Many services that present themselves as free dating sites are only free at the door. Signing up costs nothing, but to read messages, reply or see photos you have to pay. There's nothing illegal about it, if it's clearly explained: the problem arises when you only find out after entering your details.

Before signing up, look for the pricing page and read the terms of use. There are only a few words to watch out for:

• “subscription” and “automatic renewal”;
• “free trial” or “trial period”;
• “credits”, “coins”, “tokens” or “packages”;
• “featured profile”, “unlimited messages”, “premium account”.

If these terms are there, the site isn't free: it's free to start with.

Subscriptions that renew themselves

The most insidious formula is the free trial that asks for your card details. When the trial days are up, a subscription starts, often monthly or quarterly, which renews itself until you cancel it. And cancelling isn't always easy: the option may be hidden in the settings, you may need to send a form, or you may have to act many days before the renewal.

If you still decide to try a paid service, note the expiry date, check in advance how to cancel and keep an eye on your bank statement in the following months. If you find charges you don't recognise, contact your bank immediately.

Credits and fake profiles

With credits, every action has a price: a message, an unlocked photo, a virtual gift. The system only works if there's always someone to write to, and that's where the sneakiest risk lies: fake profiles created to make you spend.

Some services state in their terms, often in small print, that some profiles are run by operators or are “for entertainment”. The typical signs: right after signing up you get lots of messages from attractive profiles, conversations stay generic, the meeting never happens and you always need more credits to keep talking. If you recognise yourself in this description, stop.

Be wary of promises that are too good to be true, too, like “guaranteed dates” or “thousands of people waiting for you in your city”. No serious site can guarantee a meeting: it can only give you the tools to get to know real people, calmly and safely.

Privacy, operator and moderation

Sexual orientation and intimate life are particularly sensitive data, which the EU General Data Protection Regulation protects in a special way. Before signing up, open the privacy notice and look for clear answers: what data is collected, who it's passed to, how long it's kept, whether it's used for advertising. A banner asking you to accept dozens of advertising “partners” already says a lot.

Then check who runs the site. A serious service clearly states its company name, registered office, VAT number and an email address to write to. If you can't find a name or a contact, ask yourself who you're entrusting your photos to.

If the site lets you log in with an external account, such as Google or a social network, look at what permissions it asks for: to log in, your email is enough; it doesn't need your friends list or permission to post on your behalf.

Finally, look at how moderation works: are there clear rules? Are ads and photos checked? Can profiles and content be reported? EU rules on digital services require platforms to offer an easy way to report illegal content and to give reasons for their decisions.

Deleting your account and downloading your data

A good site lets you leave easily. Check that you can delete your account yourself, from the settings, without having to send emails or wait weeks. The GDPR gives you the right to ask for your data to be erased and to receive a copy of it: a careful service lets you do this in a few clicks.

Ask yourself too what happens to your profile if you stop using it: does it stay online for years or is it deleted after a period of inactivity?

How Corda Rossa works

Since we're on the subject, it's only fair to ask ourselves the same questions. Corda Rossa is an adult dating site dedicated to BDSM, fetish and consensual encounters, run by Shack S.r.l., an Italian company: company name, registered office, VAT number and contact details are in the terms of service and the privacy notice.

• It's free forever: no subscriptions, credits or paid “featured” ads, and no request for payment details.
• It only uses technical cookies, essential for logging in to your account: no profiling cookies or tools that follow you around other sites. Visit statistics are anonymous and cookie-free too.
• Ads, profile descriptions and photos are checked before publication, by an automated system and, in doubtful cases, by a person. Anyone can report content, even without an account.
• Email addresses, contacts and messages are stored encrypted, and your albums are seen only by the people you choose.
• You can delete your account and download all your data at any time, from the Account page.
• Accounts inactive for 12 months are deleted, with an email warning about a month beforehand.

That said, no site, free or not, can guarantee that there's always a genuine person on the other side. Corda Rossa doesn't verify members' identities: the usual rules of caution apply here too, starting with the most important: anyone who asks you for money should be blocked and reported.

Before signing up, to Corda Rossa or anywhere else, take five minutes to read the rules, terms and privacy notice: the answers to the questions in this guide should be there, clearly written. If you can't find them, that's already an answer.