Aftercare
Aftercare is the mutual care that follows a BDSM scene: warmth, water, words and attention to return calmly to normal and bring the play to a good close.
BDSM glossary
The words of BDSM and fetish explained clearly: what they are, why people enjoy them and how to practise them with consent and safety. For beginners and for anyone who wants a reliable reference.
A
B
Bondage
Bondage is the art of restricting a partner’s movements with ropes, handcuffs or other tools, for play and with their full consent.
Brat
A brat is someone who submits with a rebellious streak: they tease, disobey playfully and challenge the dominant, who in turn enjoys “taming” them.
Breath play
Breath play is the restriction of breathing for erotic purposes. There is no safe way to practise it: it can cause death or brain damage. We advise against it.
C
Caging
Caging is the consensual confinement of a person in a cage, as a game of power, waiting and submission between adults.
Clinical play
Clinical play is role play set in a doctor’s surgery: white coats, examinations and fake or harmless instruments to play with authority and vulnerability.
D
Deep throat
Deep throat refers to deep oral sex. In BDSM it’s a game of control that requires free breathing, an agreed signal and an immediate stop.
Dominant and submissive (D/s)
D/s is the relationship between a dominant, who leads, and a submissive, who chooses to give themselves over: a consensual exchange of power, in a scene or within a relationship.
E
Edging
Edging is the game of bringing a partner close to the peak of pleasure and then stopping, again and again; with tease and denial it becomes a power game.
Electroplay
Electroplay uses mild electrical stimulation for erotic purposes. Only devices made for it, never above the waist: a practice to approach with caution.
F
Facesitting
In facesitting one person sits on their partner’s face: in BDSM it’s a gesture of dominance, but it also exists as an intimate practice outside BDSM.
Forced orgasm
Forced orgasm is a consensual game in which the dominant partner drives the other towards pleasure even beyond their apparent will, often after tying them up.
G
Gag
A gag stops a person from speaking, like the classic ball gag: a symbol of surrender, to be used with a non-verbal signal and never leaving the person alone.
H
Humiliation play
Humiliation play is a psychological game in which agreed embarrassment and loss of dignity become a source of arousal for those who choose them.
I
Impact play
Impact play covers practices based on controlled strikes, from spanking with the hand to riding crops and paddles, always on safe areas and with consent.
L
Limits (hard and soft limits)
Limits are each person’s boundaries in BDSM: hard limits can never be crossed, soft limits are things to approach only with caution or under certain conditions.
M
Mummification
Mummification is a form of bondage that wraps the whole body, with cling film, bandages or sacks, giving a feeling of total immobility.
N
Needle play
Needle play uses sterile needles for temporary piercings for erotic purposes: a high-risk practice that requires specific training in hygiene and health safety.
Negotiation
Negotiation is the conversation that comes before a BDSM scene: desires, limits, safeword, health and aftercare, decided together with a clear head.
Nipple play
Nipple play is the stimulation of the nipples as a sensation game, from caresses to clamps, suitable for both men and women.
P
Pegging
Pegging is a practice in which a woman penetrates her male partner with a strap-on: often experienced as a game of role reversal and trust.
S
Safeword
A safeword is a word agreed before the scene that stops BDSM play immediately, without discussion. The traffic light system is often used: green, amber, red.
Sensation play
Sensation play is the game of sensations on the skin: feathers, ice, fabrics, warmth, often blindfolded to heighten every touch.
Shibari
Shibari is the Japanese art of rope bondage: aesthetics, contact and trust, to be learned calmly and with precise safety rules.
Sounding
Sounding is the insertion of sterile instruments into the urethra for erotic purposes: a high-risk practice that requires specific training in hygiene and health safety.
Spit play
Spit play is a fetish game that uses saliva as a gesture of possession or agreed humiliation: it needs careful negotiation, because opinions on it are very divided.
SSC and RACK
SSC (safe, sane, consensual) and RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) are the two most widely cited ethical principles for practising BDSM responsibly.
Subspace
Subspace is the trance-like, light-headed state that a submissive can reach during an intense scene: it should be recognised and protected.
Switch
A switch is someone in BDSM who identifies with both roles, dominant and submissive, and alternates between them depending on the partner, the moment or their mood.
T
Top and bottom
The top is the person who acts in a BDSM scene (ties, strikes, leads), the bottom the one who receives. Unlike D/s, it describes the action, not the power.
The practices described concern consenting adults only. These pages are no substitute for a doctor’s advice or for training with experienced people.