Bondage

Bondage is the English word for physical restraint for erotic purposes or play: tying, handcuffing, immobilising. It’s the “B” in BDSM and for many people it’s the gateway to this world, because it can be light and playful or very intense.

Tools and variations

It ranges from a scarf around the wrists to padded handcuffs, from ankle cuffs with clips to ropes, all the way to straps, blindfolds and bondage sacks. Shibari, Japanese rope bondage, is an art form in its own right. Mummification wraps the whole body. There are short ties, meant for a single scene, and positions held for longer.

Why people enjoy it

People who are tied up often describe a sense of surrender and lightness: with nothing to do, they can simply feel. The person tying experiences the responsibility and trust the other person grants them. For both there’s an aesthetic element and a focus that make the moment special.

Safety and consent

• Blunt-tipped safety shears always within reach, and handcuff keys in a known place.
• Never anything around the neck, not even for show.
• A person who is tied up is never left alone, not even for a minute.
• Check hands and feet often: tingling, coldness or pale skin mean untie immediately.
• A safeword and a non-verbal signal agreed beforehand, in case the person can’t speak.
• No alcohol or drugs.

Suspensions require serious training and can’t be improvised. Bondage is built on trust: agree beforehand what you’ll do, for how long and which areas to avoid, and stop as soon as something feels wrong.