Dominant and submissive (D/s)
RolesAlso known as: D/s, Dom and sub, master and slave, mistress
D/s is the relationship between a dominant, who leads, and a submissive, who chooses to give themselves over: a consensual exchange of power, in a scene or within a relationship.
The abbreviation D/s, with a capital “D” and a lower-case “s”, describes a dynamic of dominance and submission: one person takes control, the other gives it up willingly. It’s the part of BDSM that’s about power rather than physical sensations, and it can be lived without any ropes or tools.
Forms and names
There are many ways to name these roles: Dom and sub, Master and slave girl, Mistress and slave, owner and submissive. The words change with taste and intensity, but the underlying idea is the same. Some couples live the dynamic only during a scene; others extend it to daily rules, rituals, tasks or symbols such as a collar, in what is called a D/s or 24/7 relationship.
Why people enjoy it
The person who dominates finds pleasure in leading, in responsibility and in the trust received. The person who submits often describes a sense of relief: not having to decide, being able to let go, feeling welcomed and seen. It’s an exchange, not an imposition: the dominant’s power exists only because the submissive grants it.
Consent and responsibility
In a D/s relationship the submissive doesn’t lose their rights. Limits are set together, the safeword always applies and either person can renegotiate or end the dynamic whenever they want. The dominant has a duty to know the other person’s limits and to look after them, including after the scene.